I used to think of the absolute worst possibility that could happen in a given situation, and if that worst possibility didn’t happen, then everything would be fine. This thinking allowed me to prepare for a lot of bad, whether at work, in relationships, in life. This thinking also granted permission to create escape plans in the context of romantic relationships (how would I leave, what would I say to people, etc). While this can be helpful, it’s not good when you can see the end while you are in the middle of a relationship (i.e. my marriage). This was one of the things I had to finally figure out in my life to make positive changes and I have and it’s rewarded me with a lot, changing this behavior.
I’m going to say something I don’t normally say, something I haven’t really been able to say in, I can’t remember if I ever said this, or when I ever said this: I’m happy. I’m content. Life’s really good. For once, I believe I deserve it.
The one thing I’ll never be content with though is where I am as a writer, which no writer or really any creative person should ever be content with where they are, no matter how much acclaim or money they have. The trick for me is learning how to write well while also being happy, as I’m not used to being happy in general and I think I’m getting the hang of it slowly but surely.
I recorded a three poem set for my e-chapbook Transatlanticism. You can watch it below.
I poemed the news for CBS Chicago, which you can check out here.
To my friends and writers I like going to AWP this week: no glove, no love. Stay warm.