I found this when I was trying to cheer up my girlfriend and thought y’all might want to see it (and recoil). Before reading below, please check out the latest Sex Laws column here. Enjoy the 2002 version of J. Bradley aka King of the Emotards!

My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours

oh yes, it’s true
my fellow wallowers
My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours!
i am the bottom the barrel
of the evolution scale!
i am an Imperial Stormtrooper!
i am a Green Koopa!
i am Skippy from Family Ties!
i tell no lies
when i cry
to the heavens above
and the hells below
My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours!

jealous are you?
you should be.
it has taken 7 years
of bad poetry,
6 years of listening to The Cure,
5 years of therapy,
4 years of watching The Crow
3 times a day
2 years of not hugging my mom
& 1 really bad prom experience
to make me more inferior
than you
and it feels good
to be superior at being
mediocre.

ha ha!
My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours
and you shall behold and worship me as i
hate myself
like a bad Nine Inch Nails song
whine more than
a Dashboard Confessional song
beat my head against inanimate objects,
attempt suicide
badly
(a spork takes a long long time
to break skin)
cry,
tell myself
i’m not good enough for love
tell myself
i’m not good enough to listen
to the sound of doves
cry
tell myself i’m not good enough
to masterbate.

My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours
My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours
My Inferiority Complex Is Better Than Yours

nani nani boo hoo
stick your head in tofu
and choke
choke on any self-esteem
you have left
because you
don’t suck as much
as i do.

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About J. Bradley

J. Bradley's is a Best of the Net and Pushcart Prize nominated writer whose work has appeared in numerous literary journals including decomP, Hobart, and Prairie Schooner. He was the Interviews Editor of PANK, the Flash Fiction Editor of NAP, and the Web Editor of Monkeybicycle. He is the author of the poetry collection Dodging Traffic (Ampersand Books, 2009), the novella Bodies Made of Smoke (HOUSEFIRE, 2012), and the graphic poetry collection The Bones of Us (YesYes Books, 2014), illustrated by Adam Scott Mazer. He is the curator of the Central Florida reading series There Will Be Words and lives at iheartfailure.net.

Latest Posts By J. Bradley

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found poetry

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